The Blending

I will be dramatic for a while

I need to make sense of this world

I need to understand what goes on my mind

I will need to face the facts

I will need to make up some

I will need to rearrange

Time and time again for the mistake

that someone else made

I need to keep thinking, shrinking

Until I stop bleeding

I need to miss a face

I need to miss a target

I need to take a wrong turn

Not to end up where the mind wanders

I need not see the past sweet moments

Not to face the demons once again

Happily living a life that I granted

I need to understand that

Hey! I made it happen!

I need to wait for the moment

where the blending happens

I forget who I was

I forget who she is

I forget the plates, the numbers

I forget whatever is left of the calls

I forget to look for the sweet life moments

I forget what exactly happened

I forget the father, the family

And all the bullshit

I will forget the niece!

The essential

Prej disa gjerave ka shpetim

Prej disa gjerave shpetim ste duhet

Koha luan me ne dhe naim’bledh

kujtimet qe duhet te zhduken,

Bekime qe te zhbejne forcen

Por ada’ptohesh

And it somehow happens

A blend of tomorrow and yesterday

Comes at my door, plays with my nerves

for a while, and it detours.

A European dream  that didn’t pan out

A short Viennese walk

A master on negligence, on how to be the best

In something that you don’t care. You adapt

I will calculate everything from now on

I will have to measure the lengths

The shortcomings

The words, the deeds

I will have to take care again of me

Not to fall for the inevitable same thing.

And then the realities blend

You are in the middle of the jump

Tomorrow is inevitable

Yesterday a stepping stone

The bells of a wedding

Behind my ears

The white dress in the front,

shkurta’shqip si te duash

Eshte vone!

And I am a blending of all the feelings

Of all the sights

I am still at my beginning

While everyone else
is doing all right!

Written, Voiced and Edited by Besart Cani